Key takeaways
- Customers living with dementia often struggle with multi-step tasks such as payment terminals, forms and busy checkout lines, according to Dementia Friendly America’s business guide.
- The most useful staff habits are slowing down, giving one instruction at a time, offering two simple choices and never arguing about what is “true.”
- Short, specific phrases work better than long explanations; the table in this article lists 10 “say this, not that” examples.
- Bank and pharmacy staff are often first to notice possible financial exploitation; Americans 60 and older reported $4.88 billion in fraud losses to the FBI in 2024.
- Dementia Capable CARES runs a one-hour training for Triangle businesses, with a certificate for each employee.
A customer at a Raleigh pharmacy counter asks for the third time when her prescription will be ready. A man at a Cary bank cannot remember his PIN and is getting upset. A diner in Durham orders, then orders again 10 minutes later.
Any of these customers might be living with dementia. About 210,500 North Carolinians 65 and older have Alzheimer’s, according to the Alzheimer’s Association, and most of them still shop, bank and eat out. How your staff respond in the next 30 seconds decides whether that customer leaves embarrassed or comes back next week.
What does dementia look like at a counter or checkout?
Dementia at a counter or checkout usually looks like confusion with a task, not with a person. Dementia Friendly America (DFA), the national network of dementia-friendly communities, notes that in stores and service settings, dementia can make it harder to find items, use payment terminals or manage busy environments. You might see a customer who:
- Repeats a question or forgets an answer given a minute ago.
- Has trouble counting money or using a card reader.
- Seems lost in the store or cannot find the exit.
- Gets frustrated or anxious when rushed.
- Comes in with a care partner who answers for them.
None of these signs proves a person has dementia. They might be tired, anxious, hard of hearing or speaking a second language. You do not need to know why; you need to know how to help.
What are 10 tips for serving customers living with dementia?
Here are the 10 habits that make the biggest difference, with phrases your staff can use today.
1. Approach from the front and introduce yourself
Approach where the customer can see you, make eye contact and say who you are. Coming up from behind can startle anyone, and it can frighten a person living with dementia.
2. Slow down and give one step at a time
Give one instruction, wait for it to be done, then give the next. “Insert your card. Now enter your PIN.” works; a full rundown of the payment steps at once does not.
3. Offer two simple choices instead of open questions
“Would you like the small bag or the large bag?” is easier than “What can I get for you?” Open questions ask the brain to generate an answer from scratch.
4. Don’t quiz or test memory
Avoid “Don’t you remember?” and “I just told you.” Answer a repeated question the same calm way each time, as if it were the first.
5. Don’t argue about facts
If a customer insists she already paid, or that her late husband is waiting in the car, correcting her rarely helps. Respond to the feeling (“Let’s sort this out together”) and check the facts later, out of earshot.
6. Watch your tone and body language
Customers living with dementia often read tone better than words. Keep your voice low and warm, keep your hands still and avoid sighing or glancing at the line.
7. Reduce noise and distraction
Offer to step to a quieter end of the counter, turn down music if you can, and keep other staff from talking over you.
8. Help with payment without taking over
Point to the right button, hold the receipt still or count change out loud together. Ask before you touch someone’s wallet or card.
9. Include the care partner without ignoring the customer
Speak to the customer first, then check in with the care partner. “Is it all right if I ask your daughter to help with the receipt?” keeps the customer in the conversation.
10. Know when to get help
If a customer seems lost and alone, or might be the target of a scam, follow your store’s procedure: stay with them, offer a seat and a glass of water, and get a manager. If they are in danger, call 911.
What should staff say, and what should they avoid?
Staff should use short, calm, specific phrases and avoid anything that sounds like a test, a correction or a rush. This table gives examples your team can practice.
| Situation | Say this | Not that |
|---|---|---|
| Customer repeats a question | “Your prescription will be ready at 3 o’clock.” | “I already told you that.” |
| Customer can’t find an item | “Let me walk you to it. It’s this way.” | “It’s in aisle 12, past the dairy, on the left.” |
| Customer is unsure what to order | “Would you like chicken or pasta today?” | “What do you want?” |
| Customer struggles with the card reader | “Put the card in here. Good. Now press the green button.” | “Just tap, insert or swipe, then follow the prompts.” |
| Customer forgets a PIN | “That’s OK. Let’s try another way to pay.” | “You need to remember your PIN.” |
| Customer insists they already paid | “Let’s check the receipt together.” | “No, you didn’t.” |
| Customer seems lost | “Hi, I’m Jordan. Can I help you find something?” | “Are you OK? Where are you supposed to be?” |
| Customer is getting upset | “I can see this is frustrating. We’ll figure it out.” | “Calm down, sir.” |
| Care partner is present | “Mrs. Lee, here’s your bag. Is this your son?” | (Talking only to the son) |
| Line is building behind them | “Take your time.” | “Next!” |
How do banks and pharmacies need to adjust?
Banks and pharmacies need to add one more layer: watching for exploitation. People 60 and older reported $4.88 billion in losses and 147,127 complaints to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center in 2024, more than any other age group. A teller or pharmacist who sees the same customer every week is often the first to notice when something changes.
Signs to flag for a manager include a customer who suddenly wants to wire a large sum, a new “friend” who does all the talking, or a customer who seems afraid or rushed. DFA’s guide for banks also recommends large-print, high-contrast signs and quiet areas for longer conversations. In North Carolina, suspected exploitation of a vulnerable adult can be reported to the county Department of Social Services.
How can a Triangle business train its staff?
A Triangle business can train its staff through Dementia Capable CARES, a volunteer-led nonprofit serving Raleigh, Cary, Apex, Durham and the surrounding area. The one-hour business training covers dementia basics plus communication and environmental strategies, and includes time for open discussion with your team. It can be held in person or virtually.
Every employee who completes it receives a certificate. Your business receives a company certificate and a window cling, so customers and care partners know your staff is ready to help. Businesses that have completed the training include the Cary Senior Center, the Cary Theater, Wake County Libraries and Meals on Wheels of Wake County.
To schedule, call 919-812-6570 or email DementiaCapable@gmail.com.
Sources
- Dementia Friendly Businesses sector guide, Dementia Friendly America, 2026
- Dementia Friendly Banks and Financial Services sector guide, Dementia Friendly America, 2026
- 2024 IC3 Internet Crime Report, FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center
- Alzheimer’s Association Eastern North Carolina Chapter, Alzheimer’s Association
